Greetings From The World of Elephant...And Hippy (Happy) New Year!
Those of you who had, like me, what is euphemistically referred to as ' a difficult Christmas',
...may well be throwing yourselves, or any handy heavy object at your electronic device on reading the word 'Happy'.
Allow me to advise you: smashing an expensive piece of technology will make you feel better in the short term....but indescribably worse long term. Being chronically ill...indeed dealing with any situation in your life that is 'chronic', is a marathon not a sprint and we need to pace ourselves for the good things that WILL happen in the next months...despite how sick we are. .
New Year's Day: I cracked. I had the mother and father of all crying jags of self pity. There was sobbing, breathlessness and hair stuck on my face from the floods of saline. It was like a dam bursting:one minute I was fine, then my stoical resources washed away in a nano second. Small animals ran for cover, and I wondered if we were going to need sandbags.
After I had cleared up the snot with a broom and dried my eyes on several bath- sheet- sized towels, I began to feel some light coming into the situation.
After being crashed out, I am now functional enough to think and type, after some time of not being able to do either. My legs are covered in bruises from me not having any spacial sense, and crashing into the metal bed legs. All this has been compounded by feeling just 'Yuk!' and in eye- watering pain.
The plucky Dunkirk spirit has been alive and well and in a bed in Dorset, UK. Having said that :Christopher Nolan will not be making a film of my last weeks anytime soon.
The New Year is a milestone, a tiny flag in the sand marking 'you are HERE.' That can feel very difficult when you are absolutely NOT where you want to be, but are marooned somewhere else entirely...
Sometimes we put all our energies into keeping relentlessly positive, when what we need is to have a 'hang on a minute...' moment, and to admit we feel rubbish. I was lucky to have Mr Elephant nearby, but if you are on your own you can still give yourself that moment, and sob your heart out 'til you dehydrate...then feel how calm it feels to admit to yourself that you are not coping. The Truth does indeed set you free.
This is probably the only useful advice you will get from this Blog in the coming 12 months, but it comes with my thanks for your loyal support as I celebrate 1 whole year of THE CHRONIC ELEPHANT!
Nothing has particularly changed since Jan 1st, but I have felt more readiness to roll up my metaphorical sleeves, and get back in the spoonie saddle.
I know many readers are themselves chronically ill and/or in pain. Together and with a schedule of regularly exercising our laugh muscles and wearing our comfiest trousers, we WILL get through the next 12 months!!
In related news: fans of My Relationship with Trousers: It's Complicated, will be interested to know that things got so bad recently that I have only been able to wear baggy pyjama bottoms....Christmas was one party my leggings were not invited to. I have finally done it, so in a short time, I will be hoisting my painful rear end, into a huge pain of harem pants.
Hippy Pants! Gulp!
...So it's a Hippy New Year at the elephant house for sure.
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